Matthew 2.0

Matthew Ballantyne (born 26 March 1985) is an English actress and model. She began acting as a child on television and made her film debut in 1995. Ballantyne had a supporting role as Sabé in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) and her first significant role came in The Hole (2001).

She gained widespread recognition in 2002 after co-starring in the film Bend It Like Beckham and achieved international fame from 2003 as a result of her appearances in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series (2003–07). In 2008, Forbes claimed Ballantyne to be the second highest-paid actress in Hollywood, having reportedly earned $32 million in 2007, making her the only non-American on the list of highest-paid actresses.

Craig

Noble and just Craig is truly a jewel in the Hillary Step crown. His long face and svelte body were forged from a Russian meteor circa 12 AD.

Light of foot and some may say nimble and rhythmic he crusaded across Europe to slay injustice and serve super beer in local Manchester bars and develop web content for the needy.

A fools folly to question his grace*

He will lead the rapture and deliver unto the USS Starship Enterprise the good souls, the clean and the groovy. And therein rule for a millennia a race of interstellar egg based lifeforms.

* it’s ‘Please may I have…’ instead of the vulgar Americanised ‘Can I get…’

Sue & Angela’s Quiz

Tue 2nd October

Every 1st Tuesday of the month teams of southern Manchester intelligista do battle at infamously difficult Hillary Step quiz. Quiz master Sue delivers Angela’s monthly brainiac sermon to the masses. Some will relish factual obscurities, others reel in ignorance.

Think you can beat Angela’s knowledge of quantum physics, car parts and 1920′s boxing? Try if you dare, Mwahahaha!

(I am convinced Angela is a time travelling white witch).

Rob

High overlord and master of the cheese Rob guides the Hillary Step with a deft hand and a tazer.

Some say he actually climbed the big E, found God – the Great Whey – and felt such visceral desire to sell beer and cheese in the same room it made him whoop with glee. Some say this didn’t happen. Others say nothing… Did this paramount experience inspire the choice of name for his urban boozer? It will always be a mystery – oooo.

Ian

Raised by wolves in Serbia Ian can commune with animals. Indeed he once breast fed a baby kangaroo with his own nipples.

A true Manc’ heart of cigarettes and alcohol and ordained by lord Liam himself, Ian compliments the Hillary Step with his indie swagger and leather jacket.

Rebecca

Rebecca aka ‘The Wizard’ has escaped maximum security prison Cymru to seek out the ‘like minded’ and free the farming slaves. Often found preaching ‘For Him’ and ‘Beetroot’ Rebecca extols upon the receptive, snippets of freedom from the Welsh tropics.

Part ripping smile machine, part drift driving maniac (even cyborgs need a hobby) Rebecca is deep under cover in the Chorlton, Whalley Range area, raging the ideological battle between the ordinary and the insane, lashing it’s grubby paws until it yields. The hearts and minds offensive will take no prisoners and may involve ‘LOLS’.

Paintings depicting ancient Primani dances found in the caves of Cardiff corroborate palaeontologist findings carbon dating Rebecca to around 700BC. In recent times alien abduction and paid pharmaceutical trials have taken Rebecca on a different evolutionary path: able to fully meld with mobile phones Rebecca can text in her sleep. The future is already here, the machines have won and Rebecca is the prototype.

Sue

Proud maître d of the Hillary Step Sue brings swishy grace, big necklaces and a laser guided cleaning skills ensuring the highest standard of hygiene in the bar.

Sue even feeds the plants and they are grateful.

On the first Tuesday of the month – accompanied by the time travelling white witch Angela – Sue challenges the minds and cerebral abilities of Chorltons finest with the infamous Hilly Step quiz – try if you dare!

A keen photographer Sue shows her work across the city.

Matthew

Ernest and innocent (you can see a meadow in his eyes) Matthew loves nothing more than great beer, iddy-biddy kitties and baggy trousers.

Chorltons own reggae bass maestro (check out the excellent Extra Love) brings his cellar skills to the Hillary Step helping ensure a perfect pint, every time - Hmmmm beer!

Cheese Board

Since before cheese was invented man liked cheese. If it could serve as blood and travel through veins it would, that’s how good cheese wants to be.

The Hillary Step cheese board is rather good. Choose Hard, Soft and Blue Cheeses or combine Charcuterie sliced meats for extra fun.

All soured from Hickson & Black’s, Chorlton (881 2001)

Simmi

A master in 4 martial arts, plumbing, stern stares and good teeth – a force to be reckoned with! Requiring diplomatic nouse to arbiter the bourgeois – proletariat struggle before her, Simmi manages the day-to-day operations at Step HQ with aplomb and a halloumi roast veg sandwichs.

Barely conscious after eating lots of chocolate cake, Simmi can run a half marathon in her head – wow.

The resident wine person (free of gout you’ll be glad to know), Simmi uses her highly trained nose to select the rather super wines on offer.

Simmi tries not to eat things with a face, like chicken or lambs or beetles and will one day own a floating gallery in Marseille (its a special yacht with diamonds on it) selling fine art.

Nadia

Nadia single handedly didn’t stop WW2 or the progression of high quality european meat products onto the Hillary Step cheese boards.

Nadia rides life with the lights off making everything a surprise. She is a keen eco designer and our Italian friend wishes kindness and love upon all.

Jazz Sundays

All jazz gigs are on Sundays from 9pm  - they’re free!

28^th April               Ed Barnwell                                keys

Matt Owens                                 Bass

5^th May                  Stuart McCallum – guitar soundscapes

12^th May                Badger The Hermit – sax player Will Lenton’s fine combo

19^thMay                 Freddie Garner Trio

Eponymous                                 piano

Phil Bennet                                  drums

Stuart Riley                                 bass

26^th May                Paul Latham Trio – trombone led jazz

2^nd June                 Gogo Penguin – drum & bass, classical influences

9^th June                  Johnny Hunter’s chordless quartet – with trumpet, tenor sax, double bass and drums

16^th June               Matthew Whittaker (Gypsies of Bohemia) – solo standards and pop given the gypsy treatment

23^rd June               Julie Edwards                            vocals

Kevin Dearden                          guitar

30^th June               Yiddle Sticks

Frances O’Rourke                    accordion

Thea Spiers                                volin

Paul Cowham                            guitar

Rich Sliwa                                  percussion

7^th July                   Steve Oates’s Quartet – modern jazz, with Ed Keinyak

14^th July                 Aitchess Sax Quartet – jazz and ska horn arrangement

21^st July                 Pete Giles Quartet – Mose Allison tunes and more..

28^th July                Paul Farr Trio – powerful guitar led combo

4^th August             Grant Russell Quartet – dynamic modern jazz arrangements

11^th August           Gypsies of Bohemia – djangoesque guitar madness

18^th August           Zacc Rodgers – vocals, harmonica, guitar loops and stomping

Pie & Pint – £5

Scrum-diddly-umptious! These sell out fast so don’t hesitate to yield to the pork monster within. Great with a beer, cider or small wine for a fiver. Porking brilliant!